Number 7: "Well that was just superbad."

Its that time of the year again, a time of joy and family and end-of-the-year lists.  To start things off for me I decided to do my least favorite movies of the year, those that I deem "Superbad".  I chose to start with this because of the superbad stretch of movies I have been subjected to, which is unfortunate because this is supposed to be Oscar-worthy season.  

Oh, and I must preface this list by saying that not all of these movies were released this year, rather they were all movie's I saw in 2007.  Needless to say, a superbad movie is still superbad, regardless of its release date.

Superbad Movie #1: "Superbad" 

It only seems appropriate to start the "Suberbad Movie List" with the movie that inspired the name.  Plus, it's awfulness is fresh in my mind since I just suffered through it last night.  

Reasons for Superbadness: I hate nothing more that a comedy full of crass language and sickeningly sexually perverse dialogue.  Oh look, I just described this movie.  I really do think that the writers of this movie (hmmm, "writer" is giving too much credit where it is not due at all; let's try "idiots".) thought to themselves, "How can we make a movie with no plot but more language and crudeness that ever before?   Oh, I know!  Let's steal an idea from an already superbad movie, "Revenge of the Nerds", and make it even worse!"  

Most Disappointing Aspect: It really made me sad to see that Michael Cera, the hysterical "George Michael"of "Arrested Development, had a starring role.  Seriously, I thought he had a better grasp on comedy than this.  Not only was he not funny, when I tried to watch Arrested Development later that night every time he came on the screen he just kind of pissed me off.  Hopefully he will redeem himself in the upcoming movie "Juno", who's previews made me laugh out loud.

Superbad Movie #2: "An Inconvenient Truth"

Again, I realize that this movie came out quite a while ago, but it is still talked about on a regular basis.  I want to preface this editorial by making clear that my distaste for this superbad movie has nothing to do with my political leanings or personal feelings toward Al Gore.  Some people love this movie because they love Al Gore, and some people hate this movie because they hate Al Gore.  I hate this movie for reasons much greater than that.

Reasons for Superbadness:  I don't care what political party you subscribe to or which politician you voted for, just consider this:  Al Gore is not a scientist!  This is possibly the most important thing people fail to realize when watching this documentary.  And another very important thing to remember: anytime Hollywood produces a documentary it is going to be horribly biased and deceptively un-informing.  Al Gore makes lofty claims that "there is not a single scientist out there who disagrees that global warming is an eminent threat."  Really, Al, then why is it that soon after "An Inconvenient Truth" was released the BBC found several scientist willing to dispute your claims?  

Most Disappointing Aspect: This movie is not about global warming.  I realize that it looks that way, but if you pay close attention, this movie is really about Al Gore.  Why else would he put an entire 15 minute section about the 2000 election in the middle of the movie?

Superbad Movie #3: "The Invisible"

Some people really liked this movie, but I fail to see why.  Maybe they just like a movie full of plot holes, awful writing, and terrible acting.

Reasons for Superbadness: Please, allow me to elaborate on the aforementioned list of qualities:

• Plot holes: The main character learns that he cannot interact with the alive world no mater how hard he tries.  But then the writers thought, "Oh crap, how is this guy going to solve his own crime if he can't affect anything?"  So then, without explanation or reason, he is able to interact with animals.  But since animals can't talk, that really didn't get them very far.  Enter unexplained random real world manipulation 2:  Soon he is able to communicate to and eventually communicate with the girl that tried to kill him.  And furthermore, how in the world did the investigator figure out that the main character was in the woods.  While randomly walking down the road he sees a piece of car and randomly figures out that this is the crime scene.
  
• Awful Writing: The writers, in an attempt to appeal to MTV youth, no doubt, filled the script with hysterically cliche "emo" poetry so as to convince us that the main character was this brilliant artistic writer.  Quite comically, however, the writers actually wrote a scene ridiculing their own writing.  There is a scene near the beginning of the movie when the class is discussing one of the main characters poems in which various comments arise about it being pretentious, stupid, and not making any sense.  Like the writing in this movie.
• Terrible Acting: Was I supposed to believe the character of the crazy girl?  In one scene she has a good heart and tries to show it by taking care of her "somehow unaffected by his horrible surroundings" brother, but then in the next scene she is threatening to slit someone's throat.  And the best friend?  Am I supposed to feel sorry for him?  All he did was make me want to laugh.

Most Disappointing Aspect: This movie had some incredible cinematography, as well as some shots that were really inventive.  I particularly enjoyed when the main character would so something to affect the environment, and then without cutting they would pan back to him, and then back to the corrected scene.  But none of this could save this superbad movie.

Superbad Movie #4: "Deja Vu"

Hollywood needs to know something:  Stop making generic time travel movie's.  They all unravel in the same way, and the logic all breaks down in the same manner.  You cannot change the past with altering every aspect of the future!  

Reasons for Superbadness: Aside from the aforementioned stereotypical flaw, it just wasn't a good movie.  This has much to do with expectations, considering that Denzel Washington, who usually picks decent roles, was the star, and the previews made this movie look legitimate.  But it wasn't.  The story wasn't compelling, the acting was unbelievable, and it was an overall unmemorable experience.  Well, I guess it was memorable enough to know that it was bad.

Most Disappointing Aspect: Several years ago I produced a short film entitled "Deja Vu", which was actually pretty good.  Granted I did it for camp, so the production quality was awful, but the story was really cool.  Maybe if I find it I will post it so you can know how much better than Hollywood I am.

And finally...

The Ultimate Superbad Movie: "Mr. Brooks"

Through and through this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.  No really, I couldn't wait for the end of the year just so I could make a list of bad movies just so I could put this at the top.  It really is that bad.

Reason it is the Ultimate Superbad Movie: Normally when I go to a movie without expectations, as I did with this one, it turns out out better than if I had gone into it with expectations.  With "Mr. Brooks", however, this was far from the case.  Had I actually gone into this movie with the following expectations, things may have been better:

• Dane Cook is an awful comedian and an even worse "serious actor" so don't expect anything but a lousy performance from him.
• Kevin Costner is an awful actor and an even worse writer/director, so don't expect anything but a lousy performance and script from him.
• Demi Moore is an awful leading lady and even worse supporting lady, so don't expect anything but a lousy performance from her.
• William Hurt is an awful voice of reason and an even worse "killer personality", so don't expect anything but a lousy performance from him.

A perfect example of how miserably written and executed this movie was: I showed up 20 minutes late to this movie and still didn't miss anything.  Talk about a shallow plot and characters.

Most Disappointing Aspect: There are actually people out there that think this is a poignant movie!  I read a review on Rottentomatoes.com that praised the movie for its "unique look at human nature and duality".  Unbelievable!  It is one thing, though still hard to fathom, for someone to find entertainment value in this film, but to suggest that it is making this grand philosophical statement, are you kidding me?

So there it is.  I am sure many of you out there disagree with me, so don't be afraid to speak your thoughts.  Just realize this, you had better present a pretty good case (in other words, something other than, "How could you not like that movie, it was awesome!") in which you explain your reason for really liking the movie.  

I'll have my favorite movies of the year soon.