Number 1: "Why Don't We All Jump Onto the Bandwagon?"

In an effort to keep the most amount of people up-to-date with the ever-so-important happenings of my so-called-life, I have decided to jump on the blog bandwagon. Suffice it to say, I doubt I will ever say anything of great importance on here, or that I expect anyone to ever read this, but I will naively, nay, ignorantly live under the blissful impression that someone, somewhere out there, is reading this and it is revolutionizing their life. Said revolutionized reader will be so captivated by my musings that they will one day write a national best selling self-help book in which they will dedicate the book to my memory.

I hope all of this is reading incredibly pretentious. If not, hopefully this next sentence will push it over the edge, thanks to unreasonably large words and haughty statements:

I am currently listening to opera, consuming a strong cup of "italian-roast-french-pressed" coffee, and contemplating my future existence in a land foreign to me, known as Atlanta.

Oh yes, I think that will do it. Lets see how many "Pretentious Points (PP)" I just scored on this post:

1 PP: Lots of dashes in the opening sentence.
1 PP: Saying "nay"
3 PP: Trying to be ironic by saying "I hope all of this is reading..."
1 PP: Using the word "haughty" instead of "prideful".
2 PP: Listening to opera, a genre of music lost to most people of my generation.
5 PP: Not only drinking french pressed coffee, but letting everyone know I do so.
3 PP: Saying something really existential about contemplating my future.
10 PP: Coming up with a "Pretentious Points" scorecard.
Total PP: 26

I think 26 is a pretty good number, though I am not sure what that is out of. Hopefully I can beat that next post.