Thanks to the Patriots pathetic showing in the Superbowl I can no longer brag to my future children about being alive during a record setting season in football, thus meaning that they won't love me as much, thus meaning that I will resent them, thus meaning that they will be sent down a spiraling path of drugs and partying during high school. Maybe if the Patriots knew how much was riding on that game they would have tried a little harder.
Or, as this video I am about to show you exemplifies, I can just put them through Boy and Girl Scouts and they will turn out fine:
If you will notice, I did a much better job with the blue screen this time around, though if you tried hard enough you could see some issues with the edges.
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