For some reason today was "Petition Justin to Join our Cause" day.
It started this morning with some cleverly disguised Jehovah's Witnesses (dressed as an elderly woman and a younger woman in a peacoat) who held my attention long enough to hand me some literature enlightening me on such topics as "Why do Jehovah's witnesses not use the cross in worship?" and "The Mystery of the Monkey's on the Rock".
After they left I realized that I knew next to nothing about their beliefs, so I did some research, using the Internets most reliable source for information, Wikipedia. Some interesting (and sometimes creepy) things I learned along the way:
1) Rather than just Jesus ruling over the Earth after the Apocolypse, He will be joined by the 144,000 elect, mentioned in Revelations.
2) The Second Coming of Christ actually already took place in 1914, but it was done so invisibly in heaven, and Armageddon is currently occurring.
3) Blood is not to be eaten, sucked, stored or transfused.
4) Only they follow the true religion as commanded by God, and all other religions, including Christianity, are false religions that will be destroyed during the End Times.
Well that's fun...
Secondly, today as I was getting of my car in the Blockbuster parking lot I noticed to people dressed in military uniforms. I had this sense that as soon as they saw me they would try and cajole me into signing up, or even worse, giving them my phone number or email address so that they could perpetually hound me with "a great opportunity". And that sense proved correct. Here is conversation:
Military Guy (MG): Well hey, it looks like I am on time.
Me: Excuse me?
MG: You called me and told me to meet you here, right?
Me: Uh, sure I guess...
MG: Hey, I am Sargent Mike. Have you ever considered joining the Army?
Me: Yeah, I considered it, and decided against it.
MG: Well, you know, you can do it part time, work on the weekends.
Me: Oh, well I work for a church, so weekends are no good for me.
MG: Well, they would be able to work with you on a schedule. Here is my card, give me a call sometime so we can talk about some opportunities for you.
Me: Okay, I will.
Alright, so that is a lie. I won't. But I really wanted to get inside and rent a movie, so I said what I had to.
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Evidently, 1914 wasn't the only time Jesus came back. He first came back in 1874, then in 1914, 1916, 1918, 1919, 1925, and then most recently in 1975 (well, at least they said those times were when Jesus would come back).
I've got some great books on them, by the way. There's a video on google (about an hour long) that is really interesting. Crazy stuff.
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